Sunday, October 18, 2009

Oh Dad...

I just had the best dream.

I was sitting in a padded chair in the corner of a room wearing this funny flapper dress costume and a pink-orange jacket.You, Mom and Michelle were there and we were all talking. Mom left the room and I was thinking about movies I had rented that I wanted to watch. I started to sing, "Why do birds suddenly appear, every time, you are near?" You joined in with me, "Just like me, they want to be, close to you." You stood up and started to dance with Michelle and suddenly the room was our kitchen, right in front of the railing to go downstairs. You and I sang the whole song together. Each verse lasting forever as you and Michelle danced on the cracked linoleum of the kitchen floor. I could hear your smooth dark voice so clearly, like you really were right there singing to me, like so many times...
I kept thinking, "I've GOT to go get my video camera! When I thought he was gone the thing I regretted the most was not having a recording or a video of him singing. I don't want to make that mistake again."
Toward the end of the song, I stopped singing and Michelle joined in with you. You were still dancing. At the end you were standing behind her, helping her do silly actions, until she took over. She stepped forward and belted out, "Just like meeeeee" (arm movements and spinning) "They want to beeeeeee" (Stop. Arm actions Dum, Dum, Dum, dmmmm!) "Close to yoooooOoooouuuu!!!" (Arms in the air for a final pose)
You were grinning, we were both applauding wildly. I yelled, "Bravo! Take it on the road!"
I thought, "If they do it again for a video, I hope it will be just as cute the second time." I got up to get the camera and that's when I woke up, grinning from ear to ear with my heart so full of love. Your voice still lingering where I could almost hear it, and the image of you looking so proudly at Michelle, loving every second of this little moment in time.
Laying there with my eyes open I slowly realized, you really are gone. I can't go get a video and I'll never be able to see, or hear, a replay of our duet and Michelle's finale.

But I could write it down.

So here I am. And there you are, your voice still ringing in my ears and images of you fresh in my my mind. My eyes and cheeks wet and my heart so full.
I miss you so much. ♥

5 comments:

Nutts said...

Jenny, that is so sweet. Good job writing it down. Those kinds of vivid dreams are such a tender blessing...

Cheryl said...

Wow...Moved to tears.

Glad you were able to write that down. <3

Kara and Todd said...

So touching. Makes me realize how lucky I am to still have my dad around. Thanks for the reminder.

Sammons said...

UM.............Last post October 18, 09????? I wanna see the baby!!!!!!! (Chanting now)BABY.. BABY.. BABY! Bring it on girl.

Sara Ratcliff said...

I am crying like a baby.Layla is asking me whats wrong. : - )
What a beautiful dream.
I love you Jenny.